-simplified for idiots like you
Open your cupboard or wherever it is you store your cookware, and find a pot of appropriate size.
Place your pot in the sink under the tap. If you have never used a sink before, it is the large depression in your countertop. (If you live with someone else, they may have filled it with dirty dishes; in this case, wash them or simply remove them from the sink and place them in the oven — someone else will eventually discover them there and wash them.)
Turn the cold-water knob to the "on" position. Fill stockpot to within a couple inches of the rim.
Lift stockpot from sink and transfer to stove.
Find knob on stove that corresponds to the "burner" you have placed your pot on.
Turn knob to "High" and wait until water boils. Depending on the strength of your stove and the amount of water, the boiling time may vary.
Note: DO NOT WATCH THE POT; it will never boil in the event that you do.
Placing a lid on the pot will help it boil faster, with the additional benefit of blocking water from your line of sight, which, as stated above, inhibits the boiling process.
Depending on water application, you may want to salt the water. Do this after the water has come to a boil.
Boiled water may be used for any number of applications. Serve hot but do not drink.